I introduced my daughter to Bon Jovi’s music and she’s enchanted, I’m pretty sure this means I’ve won at parenthood, right?
Me, helping open the Peeps from Ellie’s Easter basket: “You know, when I was a kid, we only got Peeps at Easter. They didn’t have them for Valentine’s Day or Christmas or anything.”
Ellie, aghast: “That’s just cruel!”
“Yankee Doodle went to town
to buy some macaroni,
stuffed it all right in his face,
and said, ‘That’s macaroni!'”
Me, joking around with the kids without thinking before I wordplay: “Better to tickle your pits than to pickle your — OH NO NEVERMIND UM.”
My inner ten-year-old at the same time: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort
It’s a wonder we don’t get more calls from school, TBH.
E: “If Trump gets elected, does Christmas get cancelled?”
Gwen has her first loose tooth, and she’s so eager to have it out, she keeps begging her older sister to kick her in the face.
Tim: “The kids are having so much fun with her presents, maybe we can skip dessert.”
Me: “Um, I didn’t push out a baby to skip dessert. There will be dessert.”