I’m difficult to live with…

Tim: You only used this fork to stir your coffee, right?

Me: Yep…and feed the cats…

Tim: …

Me: Kidding. πŸ™‚

Tim: Don’t start with me. I don’t have the spoons to deal with it today.

Me: That’s why I used a fork, all the spoons are in the dishwasher.

Tim: …


Pickled whatnow?

Me, joking around with the kids without thinking before I wordplay: “Better to tickle your pits than to pickle your — OH NO NEVERMIND UM.”

My inner ten-year-old at the same time: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort

It’s a wonder we don’t get more calls from school, TBH.