Sabbatical anxiety and a to-do list

In a weird twist that comes from enjoying my job, I’m having a little anxiety about the whole “not working for three months” thing.

I’ll also admit to a bit of guilt that I have this opportunity at all. To put it in perspective, the last time I took three months off, I had a baby. There was the sense of having “earned it” by virtue of growing another human being in my womb for forty weeks, enduring a painful labor, and slogging through weeks of sleep deprivation.

For this? All I had to do was work at my flexible nine-to-five for five years. From home. In my pajamas. And occasionally travel to places like Italy or Hawaii.

So I’m feeling pressure to be productive, to earn my keep as I join Tim in temporary stay-at-home-ness. I wouldn’t want to waste the time off by, you know, relaxing. Heaven forbid! πŸ˜›

(My therapist will hear all about this, at which point she’ll probably roll her eyes and ask where to send the bill for the next six years because we’ve obviously made no progress whatsoever.)

(I’m kidding. She’ll be sweet and understanding and remind me that I’ve earned this time off just as much as I did when I had Gwen or Ellie. She’s a professional, she’ll keep the eye roll to herself. And maybe book a vacation on my tab.)

In the meantime, enter my favorite coping mechanism: list-making! An attempt to organize my thoughts and make some semi-concrete plans for the next twelve weeks.

  • Read 5 books
  • Catch up on fanfic reading
  • Draw 36 things (that’s roughly three things per week)
  • Lake time!
  • Footlocker coffee table project
  • Paint kitchen island w/ chalkboard paint
  • Ceramics painting
  • Girls’ weekend in Portland
  • Visit Halifax
  • Visit Fredericton
  • Visit Quebec City
  • Massachusetts trip to visit friends
  • XF cast at Comic Con (?)
  • 10th wedding anniversary weekend somewhere…?
  • Finish watching Breaking Bad
  • Meditate every damn day
  • Refresh my long-lost French with Duolingo
  • Various house projects that have gone ignored for many months
πŸ˜ƒ+

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