Quote – Hi, I'm Caroline.

Mom, explaining Christmas: Some people believe it’s Christ’s birthday. Do you know who Jesus Christ is?

Ellie: Yeah! That’s what Daddy always says when Atticus is being a brat!

File under “Things I never needed to say until I became a parent”

“No, thank you, my armpits don’t need a makeover.”

Dreams

Ellie: “Mama, how do dreams come true?”

Me: “Hard work and dedication.”

Ellie, wrinkling her nose: “What’s ‘hard work’ and ‘dedication?'”

“I’m going to get some PJ’s, and you’ll be amazed at which ones I pick!”

— Ellie

Ellie: So Mama, you were talking to Daddy, and Daddy was talking to me, but I was talking to Daddy, not you, but Daddy was talking about me to you—

Me: Hold up. I’m confused. Can you draw me a flow chart?

Ellie: Sure!

*a few minutes later*

Me: How’s that flow chart coming?

Ellie: It’s flowin’ good, Mama.

Ellie: “Mama, I have to tell you something.”

Me: “Oh?”

Ellie: “I kinda accidentally ate a cookie for breakfast before you got up this morning…but it was an accident.”

Me: “An accident, huh?”

Ellie: “Yeah, an accident. But I left the last one! I promise never to eat the last one.”

“Let’s go eat chocolate and watch Californication.”

Ellie: “Mama, I promise not to suffocate you.”

“No Mama Daddy! Weave me wone! Me have rough day.”

– Gwen, at 7 a.m., when Tim tried to tickle her

Ellie: What does M-O-T-E-L spell?

Tim: Motel.

Ellie: What’s a motel?

Tim: It’s like a hotel but with more “M” in it.