puppy or toddler

It’s time for everyone’s favorite game show… Puppy or Toddler!

Puppy or Toddler?

Hello, folks, I’m your host, Alan Finchmore, and this is Puppy or Toddler, the game show where you try to guess whether the named behavior is that of a puppy or a toddler. It’s harder than you’d think!

Our three contestants are ready to go, so let’s get started with our first question…

Host: Who ripped up tissues and spread them all over the house while I took a shower this morning? Contestant #2?

Contestant #2: The puppy!

Host: Sorry, you are incorrect — that was the toddler, though I’m sure the puppy would have helped if he could. Next question! Who regularly picks up random stuff off the ground and chews on it — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #3: Uh, the puppy?

Host: I’m sorry, that is incorrect — the answer we were looking for was, “the toddler”. Good thing she’s had her tetanus shot, am I right folks? Hah-hah! Moving on! Last night, who woke up at 11 p.m. and howled in her bed, loud enough to wake up the neighborhood — puppy or toddler? Contestant #1?

Contestant #1: What is “the puppy”, Alan!

Host: Relax, Contestant #1, this isn’t Jeopardy. And I’m sorry, that is wrong. The correct answer is “both of them, at the same time.” Wow, you guys really suck at this — hah-hah! OK, next question: Who ate a piece of three-day-old cheddar found underneath the couch — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #1: Oh, gross. It’s gotta be the puppy, right?

Host: Sorry, no, that was actually the preschooler. Trick question, hah-hah! She should know better, amirite? Oh well. Let’s play again: Who regularly gets tangled in her leash during her morning walk — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #2: Umm… I hope it’s the puppy.

Host: I’m sorry, that’s incorrect. Hah-hah, just kidding! Who would put a leash on a toddler? That’s crazytalk! Yes, Contestant #2, you’re correct! Next question: Who is most likely to play with the Ms. Princess Wets-her-Pants doll — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #1: The toddler?

Host: Oooh, so close, it’s actually the puppy… the toddler’s favorite toy is a Kong full of peanut butter. Sorry. On to our next question: Who peed on the kitchen floor and tracked it through the house — puppy or toddler?

Contestant #2: Uhh… the toddler?

Host: Correct! You’re catching on! Alas, it seems we’ve run out of time. Looking at the final score, congratulations, Contestant #2 — you’ve won Puppy or Toddler! What’s her prize, Jim?
Announcer: Congratulations, Contestant #2! You’ve won your choice of… a puppy or a toddler!

Contestant #2: Umm, I think I’ll take the puppy, Alan.

Host: Excellent choice, excellent! Well, that’s all for today, folks! We’ll see you next time on Puppy or Toddler, the game show that doubles as birth control!

Don’t forget to read to your puppies, and have your toddlers spayed or neutered. Have a good night!

meet atticus!


If you couldn’t tell from my Instagram feed, we recently adopted a puppy! Atticus is a five-month-old Husky/Aussie mix (I call him a Hussie, hehe) and he has to be the sweetest, most laid-back pup I’ve ever met.


Our Automattic co-worker, Michael, and his girlfriend, Meredith, fostered this adorable guy, so we’d seen lots of pictures and heard many good things prior to adopting him. Tim has been hinting at wanting a dog for a while now, I just never thought we’d have enough space in our small condo. But it just so happens we’re moving to a large home in a rural area with plenty of space for a pup and two kids to run… so in another month, that won’t even be a concern.

Initially, I was skeptical — my response to “we should get a puppy” has always been, “we have a puppy, her name is Gwen! She eats, sleeps, poops, and requires regular exercise and training. It’s basically the same thing.” But now that Gwen is well into toddler-dom, I’ve been feeling that sad no-more-babies pang. (Two kids is more than enough for our family, but tell that to my biological clock.) Let’s just say Tim may have caught me in a moment of weakness.

And… just look at that face:


Yeah, I didn’t stand a chance.

Atticus has completely taken to our family since we picked him up on Sunday, particularly to Tim. I’m impressed with how well-behaved and smart he is. We’ve been working on training commands like “down” and “stay”, and he’s pretty cooperative on a leash, if not curious. Tim and I take him for frequent walks, and since we both work from home, he rarely has the opportunity to get into puppy mischief. It turns out we’re in the perfect situation for a puppy.

Most importantly, he’s gentle with the kids, and Gwen is especially excited about her new “gogga” (she calls him “Acca”). Ellie is more cautious and timid (as she is with most dogs), but she already loves to help walk him, so we think she’ll come around soon.

The cats are the only ones who are understandably unimpressed with the new addition, but they’re slowly coming out of hiding, complete with looks of total and utter disgust. 🙂 I have a feeling by this time next week, they’ll do the standard, stately cat thing and just ignore him.

I think we’re all going to get along fine.