closer to fine

I thought I last wrote maybe a week ago? But time marches fast, because it’s been over a month since my last post. There’s just so much going on!

I changed teams at work, shifting from design to development, so I’m having all the impostor syndrome feels. I’m keeping my head above water, but it will probably be a few more months of floundering before I shake it off. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Several of my favorite work people have left in the last few months (over the last year or two, really), which is pretty depressing.

Tim started a new job last week, working as a software engineer at Wirecutter. I’m super proud of him; interviews and code tests were his full-time job for a while there, and I know how much stress that caused, but as a long-time Wirecutter fan, he’s basically found his dream job (again). We’re re-learning how to assimilate two jobs into our daily life, with the added bonus of juggling the kids’ schoolwork. I miss my house-husband, but having two incomes means less pressure on me, more work done on the house, more family vacations. It’s a great thing for our family, and as with everything, it will take time to adjust.

I also got vaccinated this month! I got the J&J one-time vaccine just before they stopped giving it. So far no negative side effects, although I did spend the day after the shot in bed and whiny. All in the name of boosted immunity! But with the prevalence of new variants, we’re still playing it safe. The kids’ school closed down to in-person learning for the first time since December last week due to a COVID case, if we needed any proof that we’re not out of the woods yet.

In less gloomy news, I set up a painting table in my office so I have a dedicated workspace for making art. It’s much more inspiring than my dining room table:

I’m still painting every day, and I bought a scanner so I can turn some of my paintings into prints. You can follow along with my progress on Instagram.

Finally, last week I traveled for the first time in over a year, with a last-minute road trip to upstate New York. Unfortunately the circumstances weren’t so happy, but I spent some quality time with Mom, and saw my aunts and uncle for the first time since my brother’s wedding.

I was wondering why I felt a bit unmoored (can I use that word without it sounding like a pun? No, not really) and overwhelmed this week, but then I look back at the last month, and I guess I have good reason to. We’re coming up on the sixth anniversary of Dad’s death; this time of year will always feel a little rough, even in the best of times, which these are not. There’s still a pandemic, there’s still injustice and unrest, and the new normal is still pretty fuzzy.

So yeah, good things are happening…but I’m tired, y’all.