because you just know i’ve always wanted to use “chunky bits” in a sentence.

I think I need to go back to bed.  This crappy April weather fried my brain.

Case in point:  I forgot my work laptop’s power adapter at home.  This being the power adapter for the laptop that randomly shuts itself off if it’s not always plugged in, and has been known to tell me there are four hours of battery life left where there are really only three minutes.  (Thankfully I have a wonderful significant other who drove the fifteen miles back home to grab the power adapter for me, because he’s nice like that.  I love him.  Have I mentioned that?  LOVE him.)

Second case in point:  It’s 11:00 a.m. and I’m already starving.  I decide to heat up my soup for lunch.  I do this, and get it back to my desk, ready to dig in… and realize I don’ t have a spoon.  Anywhere.  The office kitchen does not have a spoon – only knives and forks.  So I am here at my desk, slurping my soup as quietly as possible, and hoping that my coworkers won’t notice my tomato soup mustache, or how carefully I’m eating the chunky bits with a fork.

Third case in point:  Starting tonight, we’re watching our landlady’s cats for a few days while she and her husband visit family out of state.  Yesterday evening I got into bed, all ready to sleep, and realized I couldn’t remember her cats’ names.  At all.  And as I racked my sleep-deprived brain for possible clues (because I knew I wasn’t going to sleep until I could remember) the only things I came up with were the names of Teletubbies.

Teletubbies.  What.  The.  Fuck?

And then I started second-guessing myself on their feeding schedule, too – was it one tablespoon morning and night, or two?  Two tablespoons each, or just two, total?  Shit.

Let’s hope she left a note, or she might come back to extraordinarily fat and/or skinny cats that only answer to Tinky Winky and Po.

Fourth case in point:  I was telling the S.O. about the third point last night when we somehow got on the subject of “alternative ways” to dry a wet cat.  Don’t ask.

Him:  You could always hang them up by the scruffs of their necks to dry.

Me:  What, like on a clothesline?

Him:  Yeah.

Me:  That’s animal cruelty!

Me:  … I mean, it’s so much faster to use the dryer.

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