Aside

I like my Peeps cruelty-free

Me, helping open the Peeps from Ellie’s Easter basket: “You know, when I was a kid, we only got Peeps at Easter. They didn’t have them for Valentine’s Day or Christmas or anything.”

Ellie, aghast: “That’s just cruel!”

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Aside

Pickled whatnow?

Me, joking around with the kids without thinking before I wordplay: “Better to tickle your pits than to pickle your — OH NO NEVERMIND UM.”

My inner ten-year-old at the same time: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort

It’s a wonder we don’t get more calls from school, TBH.

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