I am not supposed to eat the frosted animal crackers sitting on my desk right now. Why? Because I made the mistake of looking at the nutrition information while I was noting future food consumption for the day over at fitday.com.
I figured, hey, they’re animal crackers! With frosting! Wholesome childhood good-ness covered with sugar and those hard little confetti candies that could cut diamonds! How bad can they be?
Oh, I really didn’t want to know. I really didn’t want to know, because even if I were to successfully ignore the small bag on my desk, there’s still a giant bag of them at home, purchased on one of those dreadful, “I’m hungry, let’s go grocery shopping!” trips.
Damn you, Keebler, and all your little elves.
On another subject, I’m curious and have a question. What do you do at work when you have one of “those days”? And by “those days” I mean, “I should be working, but I can’t bring myself to do anything constructive, so I’m just going to make myself look busy while I’m really ____________”.
Fill in the blank! I’ll go first.
- Browsing photography Web sites. Right now I’m enjoying the works of Lovisa Ringborg and Janieta Eyre.
- Browsing for new WoW mods. Someday I’ll teach myself how to code my own. Right now I’m stuck on Serenity and Tinypad.
- Catching up on For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston.
- Charting my course around campus on Gmaps Pedometer.
- Cursing cookie-worshipping, height-disadvantaged peoples in my Vox blog.
- If I’m feeling adventurous, I’ll hit the “Stumble!” button on my browser’s Stumbleupon extension. You never know what you’re going to get, though.
- If I’m in a really masochistic mood, I’ll see what’s happening on the official WoW forums. In case of emergency, break glass, slit wrists – that kind of mood.
- Avoiding, at all costs, the bag of frosted animal crackers on my desk.
In my haste to get something to eat before my lunch hour was up, I totally forgot to include two of my most defining nerdy traits. So another day, another lunch break… another post.
The first: I’m a recovering X-Phile. In high school and college my dorm room walls were plastered with pictures of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, Mulder and Scully, my favorite FBI-fighting team. I owned all the episode guides, read all the fanfic (even wrote some of my own, embarrassingly enough), knew all the in-jokes, and desperately wanted my heroes to get it over with already and screw like bunnies. Yeah, I was one of “those” fans. When everyone who knew better stopped watching the show in the 6th or 7th season, I was still securely anchored in front of the TV every Sunday night at 9, giddy with anticipation. Thankfully the show ended in the 9th season, or I might still be defending myself (poorly) to television critics with better taste than I on some obscure Internet forum somewhere.
My second nerdy love: Jon Stewart. He’s tall, dark, handsome, and makes fun of politicians for a living. But before he hosted the Daily Show, he had a small-ish role (alongside noneother than Gillian Anderson!) in a movie called Playing by Heart, which served as my feel-good movie for several years. It wasn’t a great film by most standards, but it made a certain hormonal teenaged girl cry in all the right places, so it served its purpose. The feel-good movie of choice has since been replaced by Love Actually, but my love for Jon Stewart and his biting wit continues.
As someone who’s spent the majority of the last five years thinking and breathing photography, it’s heartbreaking to admit that I’ve been in a creative slump for months now. And now that I think about it, it’s not really a “creative slump” at all; I still have ideas for projects, but I have absolutely no desire to bring them to life. The process of creating art doesn’t give me a sense of fulfillment or satisfaction. Instead, I come away from a shoot feeling tired, cranky, and frustrated with the results.
I’ve spent so much time investing myself in this hobby, making it my life and my passion, only to have it turn into a chore. I feel like I got dumped by my camera, or maybe I did the dumping. Either way, the “break-up” rocked me. I didn’t realize how much my sense of self-worth depended on my art, and so I’ve spent the last six months wandering aimlessly and feeling like a failure, sinking lower and lower. Photography was the one thing I thought I could really make a significant impact on the world with, but it turns out I’m just a Web geek with a hobby.
Speaking of which, the sudden change in the work situation doesn’t help. If I thought I lacked energy to create art before, eight hours at a computer doing mind-numbing batch Web sites every… single… day… really drives the point home. I’m pooped. All I want at the end of the day are mindless things: Warcraft, television, fluffy books, exercise, good food, and sleep.
I think I’m finally close to getting over it, though. It’s hard to accept the idea that I don’t have to be the prolific visionary, the starving artist… but maybe it’s okay to just have a hobby and not a passion. And maybe, sometimes, it’s okay to do nothing at all.
What’s the nerdiest thing about you?
“Nerdiest” would imply the one, most nerdy thing. One? Just one thing? Well, okay.
Hi, my name is Sheara! I’m a 60 Undead Priest and a Blood Guard of <Grim Determination> on the Earthen Ring server. For the Horde!
Need I say more?
Other nerdy facts about myself, because just one nerdy fact does not a good blog post make:
- I’ve had an online journal/blog/personal Web site since before I hit puberty. To me, Web design is an artform.
- I use a Mac,
and I like it. No, I <3 it.
- I went to a special high school for nerds called the Maine School of Science and Mathematics (alternately known as the Maine School of S & M).
- I graduated from university with a degree in New Media. “New Media” is Latin for “nerd”.
- I’ve been known to abuse the emoticon. 🙂
- Lists. Lists everywhere. Lists about anything and everything, as long as it’s a list.
- Megapixels turn me on.
- And finally… I’m spending my lunch break writing this instead of eating lunch. That pretty much sums it up!