Tim, a man perpetually surrounded by books: “I don’t have any books to read.”
This new single is making me feel things like whoa.
Tim: You only used this fork to stir your coffee, right?
Me: Yep…and feed the cats…
Me: Kidding. 🙂
Tim: Don’t start with me. I don’t have the spoons to deal with it today.
Me: That’s why I used a fork, all the spoons are in the dishwasher.
Me, joking around with the kids without thinking before I wordplay: “Better to tickle your pits than to pickle your — OH NO NEVERMIND UM.”
My inner ten-year-old at the same time: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA snort
It’s a wonder we don’t get more calls from school, TBH.