OK, so the parenting thing was fun for a year, but it’s getting kinda boring, and I need some cash for a new laptop. Therefore, I’m selling my like-new toddler–she’s got a charming smile and a bright personality that’s sure to win you over. A bit on the maintenance-heavy side, but with regular feeding and watering, she’s got another 85 years in her, at least. Was going to put her on eBay, but thought I’d try general word of mouth first. I’ll even throw in a half-gallon of milk and a sippy cup. You won’t find a deal like this anywhere else! Considering all reasonable offers!
(And happy April Fools!)